Saturday, December 25, 2010

James Patterson's "The Gift" - Banned Materials

I deciphered the "Banned Materials" for James Patterson's book, "Witch & Wizard" on an earlier blog post HERE.

Here is a work-in-progress for the sequel, "The Gift".

Especially Offensive Books That Have Been Banned: As Dictated by The One Who Bans Books
The Brawlers - Warriors by Erin Hunter (see comments)
Gossip Ghost - Gossip Girl series by Cecily von Ziegesar
The Interesting Crossover Of The Dog To The Shadowland – The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
The Thirst Tournament – The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
The Unfortunate Stones –
Ultimate Armstrong – Maximum Ride series by James Patterson
(Armstrong number - also known as narcissistic numbers; Armstrong numbers are the sum of their own digits to the power of the number of digits.)

Some Particularly Reprehensible Noise Polluters Of The Former Age: As Defined by The One That Monitors Auditory Stimuli
Duchess Goo Goo - Lady GaGa
Dustin Beeper - Justin Bieber
The Red-Eyed Sleazes – The Black-Eyed Peas
Smiley Pyrus – Miley Cyrus
Swifty Tailor - Taylor Swift

Visual "Artists" Who Are No Longer Sullying The World: As Annotated by The One Who Assesses Visual Stimuli
Pierre Pondrain - Piet Mondrian
Paulo Cezonne - Paul C├ęzanne
Rancher Elfie – Shepard Fairey
Sandy Eyehole – Andy Warhol
Septembre Feynoir – Auguste Renoir
Thanksy - Banksy


  1. The Brawlers is either Seekers or Warriors by Erin Hunter, but I don't know about The Unfortunate Stones.

  2. I thought that one would be the twilight saga. The description fits.

    1. The Twilight Sega Is In The First Book.

  3. The Brawlers is definitely the Warriors Saga by Erin Hunter. Description matches perfectly.

  4. What's the whole thing about Armstrong in brackets. It sounds like a load of gibberish to me....?

  5. To Anonymous (3/10/11 9:21).

    Since he reference himself this could be construed as being narcissistic.

  6. No one knows what The Unfortunate Stones is! All the rest of the books were very obvious...

  7. The Unfortunate Stones---> The Unfortunate Events

    [The series of unfortunate events]
    ...that's just a guess by the way...

  8. Anyone discover what The Unfortunate Stones book really is?

  9. the unfortunate stones = the unfortunate events (i think)

  10. The Armstrong thing is because Ride in Maximum Ride supposedly comes from the astronaut Sally Ride, so the parody is Armstrong (from Neil Armstrong).

  11. Also, if you were to Armstrong-ify the numbers 1 through 80, they would go:
    1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 144, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 144, 169, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 144, 169, 196, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 144, 169, 196, 225, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 144, 169, 196, 225, 256, 64.
    At least I think...

  12. I think "Unfortunate Stones" might be "the Lovely Bones." The story doesn't match so well but the title does...who knows?

  13. The Unfortunate Stones is, in my opinion, the Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket... the Lovely Bones does fit the title better, but the story is most like the Unfortunate Events.

  14. Thanks. I got the musicians easily enough and maximum ride but was pretty lost on the others :)

  15. I'm guessing that the unfortunate stones is a series of unfortunate events.

  16. I agree with ^ Anonymous, I thought Unfortunate Stones was Series of Unfortunate Events... maybe not....

  17. I would assume it's the series of unfortunate events. It says it references 'theatrics'. Remember when Olaf forced Violet to marry him in a play?

  18. The Brawlers is supposed to be Warriors? I LOVE that the way, this is all really helpful! I would never have guessed some of the parodies!

  19. I wonder why James Patterson chose to do a parody of his own series.......Is he just acting conceited, or what?

  20. The Unfortunate Stones is the Unfortunate Events.

  21. Im not sure anyway this was soooo helpful thank you so much! Also your first one

  22. maybe the unfortunate stones is the series of unfortunate events?